Unique problems in California

I have a unique problem. Men don't want to date me, they want to move in with me or marry me. I have been without a main squeeze for 6 months and am starting to miss physical touch and tender moments greatly.

I have dated 2 men since end of my most recent long term relationship and have indulged in some loving and cuddling with both of them. This was a huge mistake on my part. For me the physical part was just two adults enjoying each other in a healthy adult way. For them it was an invitation for them to enter my life on a permanent basis and start making decisions on how I spend my money, time, energy etc. etc. etc.

I have no desire to enter into another long term relationship anytime soon but I also do not want to live like a nun. I don't need a partner to help me pay bills, buy homes or cars but oh how I miss a neck to nibble.

Frustrated in California

Dear Frustrated in California,

Relationships of all kinds are tough and seem to get tougher as the world evolves. Know that you are not alone in this problem. Have faith and be patient.

As I have written about before, people confuse quality versus quantity. Often times the quality, or what we truly desire is lost in looking for the instant gratification. To see the satisfaction we seek takes an investment of time to at least some degree, depending on the quality we desire.

Relationships of any kind are apt to lack any quality, or satisfaction, unless there is first some communication about the roles and expectations of both parties involved. Be sure to voice, impeccably you intent and goals of the relationship and your intendeds intent and goals of a relationship with you.

KJ – Good Luck!